Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The International Council of Man Laws

The International Council of Man Laws





Good video while read these :D  Hope you enjoy!
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.





3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

15: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime, green, orange or sky blue.

25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360 End of story.

26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
Ever.

27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

* 'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

* 'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'

I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Man Laws

53 comments:

jura1991 said...

nice

JRam said...

I'm not sure why would men cry at 2b instead of just getting horny. Everything else looks about right.

Mr Bouchard said...

hahaha those were hilarious!! Keep them coming!

Nostalgist said...

a book just for bros .. not just awesome but brilliant!!

CAE.II said...

Lololol awesome post!! I love these!! Great show too, although I havnt watch it as of recent.

kennett4 said...

lol great post, awesome blog btw

Paul said...

lol funny

The Drug Connoisseur said...

Haha great post!

The Blogster said...

i cant see the video for some reason :O

Gansita said...

LOL! I totally agree with this, hahaha

ArchiePattersons said...

This was clever, I remember this episode, great show.

Come At Me Bro said...

I love laws!

Firstborn said...

nice video and awesome points!
laughted so hard while reading :D

Monster Madness said...

Hilarious xD

Flippy said...

"that's just science." hahaha this post is so relative to my interests. if you've read my blog youd know why!

Mez said...

(d)
OW.

tonyman33 said...

Thank god its barney

Coupons_Ftw said...

haha Xbox 360 one is true.

About Insurance said...

lol these are funny

Cash Money said...

good stuff here man

Wealth of Information said...

thanks for sharing!

VIP Insider said...

cool, can't wait for an update

Hey Ahnold said...

wow, good to know

Synthetic Soiree said...

LOL, "when she uses her teeth." Yikes

Pat Rose said...

this is great!

Jamie_xoxo said...

lolz, I have a pdf of that book, The Bro Code I mean, It's funny!

Rand.oM said...

when a bro gets married ( A.K.A genitalia suicide) One tear is acceptable but not more

Donkote said...

haha these are hilarious and yet so wise

TechnoMac said...

rule 23 is the key to success

ImmaFrog said...

incredible post, man

Rorschach Redemption said...

I have this on audiobook. He kind of yells the numbers out weirdly. It's almost scary.

Willow said...

The laws rule.

BökChöd said...

HAhaha... I have to add, it's always OK for a man to cry... if/when he is gay. Either that, or when his mommy takes a switch to his booty. :-) Great stuff. Thanks for the giggles.

MRanthrope said...

never truer words spoken(or typed)

El Trombone said...

Cool laws, man.

T.dot said...

your blogs are awesome man

I be ragin' said...

that gives me something to think about

Philosophical Jibberish said...

I need to follow the bro code

Philosophical Jibberish said...

I need to follow the bro code

Life of Leisure said...

nice, thanks for sharing

Geeked Out said...

very interesting... thanks

Coincidence or not said...

that's good to know

Fat Stacks said...

looking forward to your next update

Zoy said...

I had a chuckle when reading number 15.

Come At Me Bro said...

Sweet vid!

David Davidson said...

Brilliant. That's all that needs to be said.

TheGoatwhore said...

This is the Man Bible.

Mr.Brightside said...

coool!

Apps Master said...

good to hear, thanks for posting.

Mr.Brightside said...

Funny!

Lemmiwinks said...

Cool story, bro!
Following your blog

Come At Me Bro said...

This is great!

Dyldog said...

haha nice

There was an error in this gadget